Conducting a Reality Check
Being prepared to ask the “tough questions” in life and the willingness to listen to the answers
Over-estimate yourself but never over-estimate the challenges you face. A degree of positive self-illusion seems to be a valuable quality in life. Too much “realism” about our failings and shortcomings can be a hindrance rather than a help. Keep optimistic about what you can achieve. But be very realistic in your evaluation of the difficulty of the specific problems you need to tackle. There are some challenges in life with risks and hazards that are not obvious. Be shrewd in your assessment of what will be required.
Monitor your failure rate. Watch out for modest successes. Modest successes provide the promise of a bright future and encourage greater investment. Modest successes can also lull you into a false sense of security about what will work and endure for the long-term. Sometimes it is failure that drives genuine innovation. Spectacular failure suggests that someone has pushed into new areas. You might learn something important for long-term success.
Achieve “Flow”. “Flow” is the Fascination with what we’re doing; becoming Lost in what we’re doing; at One with what we’re doing; and Wholly involved in the task. Flow is the time when your physical and psychological energies are caught up in the task. Flow is the moment of your optimum productivity and creativity. Learn how to find those times of “flow”. www.wishfulthinking.co.uk
“Mission impossible”. You know yourself, your talents and strengths and what you need to do to succeed. Don’t let your success become your downfall by agreeing to those new assignments and projects which will make the kind of demands that you can’t meet. Keep stretching and testing yourself but don’t be seduced by others’ flattery to take on those activities which can only expose in the end your shortcomings.
Come to terms with who you are. Recognise the fundamentals of your temperament and the personality that has formed and crystallised over the first sixteen years or so of your life. Yes, you can change but don’t go through life with the expectation of transforming your core personality. The challenge is to discover new facets of your personality, develop new skills and deploy your talents productively, not to reinvent yourself.
“Where your talents and the needs of the world cross, there lies your vocation.” If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. Develop your self awareness and insight to locate your distinctive strengths, those qualities which feel part of you and which you find easy to deploy. Keep alert to events around you to spot the opportunities for you to utilise your skills.
No one is perfect and neither are you. Give yourself a break and accept your shortcomings and limitations. Whilst some weaknesses represent “fatal flaws”, patterns of behaviour which may derail you in life, others can be managed easily through a combination of:
- anticipating and preparing for difficult situations in which you find yourself
- avoiding the situations and tasks which involve strengths you don’t possess
- playing to your distinctive strengths
- shifting the emphasis of your role
- drawing on the talents of others to complement your own skill set.
The double-edged sword of strengths. “Play to your strengths” is a pretty good life strategy, but like all flexible strategies needs to be moderated. Strengths, taken to an extreme, can “flip” to become weaknesses. A drive for results, a potential life asset, can easily translate into an impatience which alienates others. Don’t become too entrenched in your views of your strengths. Some may represent your “Achilles heel”.
Keep humble. Know yourself but don’t define yourself around a “this-is-who-I-am-take-me-for who-I-am-warts-and-all” personal identity. This is arrogance. Not everyone will like or accept “the warts and all”. Be sufficiently comfortable in your “own skin” to accept when some traits and qualities need to be moderated and when to explore new facets of your personality.
Don’t navel gaze. Judge your life only by outcomes not intentions. Your motives, aims and plans are unfortunately of little interest to others. You will be judged on what you actually attain, the impact you personally make on the world, not on your potential to achieve. Ensure therefore that you translate your insights about yourself into practical goals and specific actions.
Know when and how to redefine yourself. If you’re getting tough feedback from your “customers” in life and your “competitors” are becoming increasingly aggressive, your “success space” is in danger of becoming squeezed. Apply the same discipline to yourself if you were evaluating a business. What are the strategic options given the mix of customer trends, competitor activity and organisational capability? Review your strategic life options:
- accept it’s getting all too difficult and retreat
- find a niche in which there is enough space for you to flourish
- rethink the fundamentals of your life proposition to identify new ways to maximise your existing capabilities
Protect your personal brand. Your reputation is a critical life asset. Look after it well. Be careful about the jobs, projects and assignments you take on. Don’t evaluate them simply in terms of salary raises or enhanced status. Ask: will this move strengthen your reputation over the long run? www.idea-sandbox.com
Self knowledge is a life long task; don’t stereotype yourself. We don’t like to be pigeonholed by others, so don’t put yourself in a classification box. The analysis of a well designed and validated personality instrument is helpful in indicating something of our deep-seated temperament. As is 360 feedback in which others rate your personal effectiveness. But none of these measures provide a definitive evaluation of “you”. Our complexity as unique individuals is not easily summarised in a set of profiles. And you will change. Understanding yourself – who you are, what you believe and aspire to, and how you interact with others, is a process of continual learning.